Never Enough
by drowninginmysleep5
Summary: [My Palex Story] Paige and Alex hook up one night at work and everything goes from there
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi and the songs that inspired the chapters, yada, yada, yada….**

**Chapter one**

"**If you twist and turn away**

**If you tear yourself in two again**

**If I could, you know I would**

**If I could, I would**

**Let it go"**

**-Bad: U2**

Her fingertips trace my skin. Her touch equals my drug, my new found high. Her lips proceed to feed this said addiction. She makes me fluster with frustration whenever she gets all high and mighty on me.

Little princess always nagging was now at my mercy.

It was a night like any other. We were locking up. Working the night shift. Everyone else was out at some huge party for some random guy's eighteenth birthday. We were both exhausted for the last movie had ended at 2 in the morning and we had done nothing but scamper from theater to theater and back to the concessions. The one night we're the only ones working the late shift, the popcorn machine decided to start spazzing out.

We were cleaning up in Theatre 7, that would be the theater farthest from the entrance to the building. And just like the idiot I am, I couldn't help but stare at her as she bent over to pick up an empty cup. I felt my skin erupt in a flash of heat.

"What are you looking at?" she had asked realizing my gaze was in her general direction.

"Nothing," I had replied turning my head away to sweep up some imaginary popcorn. I thanked whatever God was out there that the lights were still a little dim so that she couldn't see me blushing.

My head looked back over at her when I knew she was turned away from me. My eyes swept her body. It was constricted by that ugly uniform we were forced to wear every day we worked this stupid dead end job.

"You're doing it again," she had said turning around at the feel of my eyes upon her, this time tapping her foot in an annoyed manner.

"I'm not fucking doing anything," I had retorted getting angry more at myself for being caught twice than at her for noticing.

"Don't lie to me Alex! What did I do wrong?"

"Why would I lie to you? Nothing's wrong."

"Why would you lie to me? Umm, I don't know, because you are possibly."

My blood boiled as I stared at her pompous face. I had wanted to slap her, yell at her, hit that damn face that invaded my dreams so much.

"You make me so mad sometimes I just wanna…" I had said trying to get the words out but could only make angry hand gestures.

"Wanna what? Wanna what?" she had started egging me on now like she wanted me to start something.

But I couldn't answer her. I couldn't answer anyone when they asked what was wrong with me. I had simply turned my head away and continued my sweeping. She slowly made an approach to me as if asking for an answer.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it," I had replied feeling the sting of her eyes on my back.

"Just tell me," she had said pleading.

"It's hard to be around you, Paige," seemed to have just slipped out of my mouth as I set down my broom and dustpan. 'Aw shit.'

"What are you talking about?"

"Whatever, I'm just going to get back to work now and pretend this never hap…" I made to pick up broom again but her hand was on mine. It felt so good for her to be this close to me.

"Don't leave me hanging. You know I would never do that to you," she had pleaded with me. I ignored her persistent begging and walked away leaving her before the silver screen looking at me.

"Why aren't you letting me in!?!" she had called after me. I had turned to look at her with pure confusion on my face. "You're supposed to be my friend but you can't even tell me what's really going on inside that stubborn mind of yours. I mean, I got high for you. Now tell me what's on your mind damn it!"

"You want to know what's on my mind?" I had asked my eyes tearing up slightly at the aspect of what I was about to do.

I started to walk towards her with a quick deliberate pace and caught her face in my hands. I then lightly placed my lips upon hers.

"Alex, what are you doing?" she had asked. She had not pulled away from me, but merely asked a question.

"I don't know," I had replied smiling slightly.

And that is where we are now. Me tugging at her uniform shirt and her slipping her hand under the waistband of my Dickies. Our lips meeting whenever they wished. At first we were sure to be gentle, but I was soon fed up with it. I hated it when guys or girls, in this case, tried to treat me like a porcelain doll. I wanted them to know what I wanted.

I finally pulled her shirt over her head tossing it aside with the discarded broom and dustpan. My shirt shortly joined hers. My lips moved to her neck. I heard her moan my name and my stomach filled with a hot sensation.

"Wait, wait," she said breathlessly as I pulled on the zipper of her pants. I paused waiting for the rejection to come. "Not here."

She took my hand and led me into the projection room. I almost hit myself. Of course the theater was a mess, why else would we be cleaning it up?

"Our shirts are still in the theatre," I told her between kisses as we flung the door to the projection room open letting it bang behind us.

"Shut up," she replied unbuttoning my pants. I didn't like the idea of her being so in control like she always was. I slammed her against the wall making sure to leave my mark on her neck. I reached down and with one swift movement, her pants were at her ankles. I then slowly moved down her body making sure to trace a thin line with my finger nail. I saw goosebumps erupt on her skin and almost laughed at my own brilliance. I finally got to her underwear. I looked at her as if asking if this was okay for her. I then slowly let the fabric fall down her legs. I shoved her more against the wall and placed her legs over my shoulders. I then inserted my tongue into her entrance. Her legs tightened on my shoulders and I grasped them and kept going. I could tell by the way she was arching her back that she was about to climax and my tongue moved with more persistence. She shuttered and her legs slackened on my shoulders.

I stood up and meant to walk away knowing she was tired, but she pulled me back to her and returned the favor…

A single tear was lingering on her cheek as we held each other in a naked embrace. Our breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Holy shit," was all I could say.

"I know," she replied smiling slightly. She pulled away as she searched for her clothes.

"They're down in the theater," I told her not making eye contact as I pulled on my bra and pants clumsily.

"I'm aware."

"I'm just trying to help," I muttered bitterly. I felt a hand lift my chin as I pulled on my shoes. I was face to face with my princess.

"I know you wanna to help, hon," she said. I stood up so that I was a little taller than her. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't quite find the words. I merely closed my mouth and ran out of the projection room into the theater to find the rest of my outfit.

I heard her footsteps following close behind me.

"So that's it!?!" she asked calling after me. I pulled my shirt on over my head and remained silent. "Don't leave me hanging like this."

I turned around to see she was only half dressed.

"I have to clear my head," I said shaking my head a little as if to comprehend a bit of what we had done in the projection room. "I'm so sorry Paige."

And with that I left her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

"**We're not twenty-one**

**But the sooner we are**

**The sooner the fun will begin"**

**-Swiss Army Romance: Dashboard Confessional**

(Back to a third person point of view)

Alex smiled plastically as she handed a family their order.

"We need to talk," Paige said coming out of nowhere.

"Thank you, have a nice day," Alex called after the family before turning around to fix another order.

"Don't try to pretend like you didn't hear me," Paige commanded.

"I did hear you," Alex hissed her eyes flashing to people waiting in line. "But I don't think this is the right place or time for the conversation."

"Then when do we talk?" Paige asked.

"Hey!" their manager had seen them talking instead of working. "Less chit-chat and more popcorn!"

"Sorry," Paige apologized. Alex simply rolled her eyes. She had no respect for their manager and didn't care if she knew or not.

Paige took the order of two teenaged boys. She was filling up a cup of soda when Alex whispered to her, "The Dot, tonight after shift."

Paige simply nodded and continued to prepare everyone's order.

Alex was on her fifth cup of coffee when Paige finally arrived.

"What took you so long?" she asked slightly amused. "Did Paigey need to take a shower after work?"

"Very funny," Paige replied sitting down across from her.

"Do you want anything?" Alex asked raising her hand so that Spinner could serve her. Paige practically slapped her hand down.

"He's my ex," she told Alex.

"Yeah, and he's also our waiter…"

"I don't want him listening in," Paige explained. Alex crossed her arms across her chest with a huff of frustration.

"Well, if you're going to deny me caffeine, then get out with what you wanted to talk about," she demanded. Paige took a deep breath before spilling the truth.

"Last night scared the shit out of me," she said bluntly. Alex looked slightly surprised.

"You serious?"

"Never more serious in my life."

"Why did it scare you so much?"

"Because I felt things I've never felt before. I felt…like I was home," she tried to explain,

"And how do you feel now?" Alex asked propping her elbows on the table in order to get a better look at Paige. "Confused….indifferent….angry…."

"Very confused," Paige replied. "But at the same time, I'm not really that much off track."

"What do you mean by off track?"

"I think I kind of expected it. I think it was meant to happen and a part of me is telling me that I should just accept it and move on. And the other part is in six different places at one trying to comprehend everything."

"I feel the same way," Alex replied. "The one thing we can actually agree on and it involves something we can barley talk about."

"How ironic," Paige agreed laughing.

"Do you believe everything happens for a reason," Alex asked lowering her voice to a whisper.

"I don't know. I haven't really been all into that universe crap a lot of people preach," Paige replied.

"Well I have been reading up on some of this self help shit I told myself I wouldn't get into. One of the things Alanon and Alateen preach is that everything happens for a reason and sometimes it's beyond our control," Alex explained to her. "I think there was a reason for last night."

"Like I said, it was meant to be," Paige said slumping back in her chair.

"So where do we go from here?" Alex asked. Paige looked around the restaurant paranoid.

"We don't have to do anything if you're not comfortable," Alex told her sounding slightly disappointed.

"That's just the thing; I have never felt more comfortable in my life."

Alex smiled, not her usually evil or sarcastic smile, but a real smile this time.

"But…" Alex slumped back in her seat; she had been waiting for that.

"We have to keep it a secret," Alex finished for Paige.

"I'm sorry Alex. But I'm starting University in a few months and I need to leave my Mark on Degrassi. I don't want to do it as the school lesbian," she explained.

Alex bit the inside of her cheek thinking.

"As long as I am with you, I'm okay with anything," she finally replied taking Paige's hand.

"Not here," Paige hissed. Alex let go of her head as Spinner came over to their table.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

"**And we'd steal away every chance we could  
To the backroom, the alley, the trusty woods"**

**-Night Moves: Bob Seger**

One month had gone by since that night in the theater. Things were good between Paige and Alex. The only bad thing was the secret part to their relationship. They couldn't go certain places or do certain things because it would bring the relationship out in the open, which was the last thing Paige wanted.

Their favorite place to chill was the local bookstore. Lost in its rows and rows of books they would talk, not always about books, but everything. They could look at each other they way they couldn't at Degrassi or the movie theater.

One day they were located in the fiction section. Alex was leaning against a shelf flipping through a magazine and Paige was busy staring into space.

"You look a bit dazed and confused," Alex pointed out as Paige contemplated her selection for the day. "If that's your thinking face, I hate to see what your dumb face looks like."

"There's nothing to read," Paige replied brushing off Alex's last comment. When you were around Alex almost twenty-four/seven you had to learn how to leave those comments like they were never said in the first place. "These magazines are talking about the same thing."

"Now you're finally seeing it my way," Alex said smiling. "You popular clones and your celebrity gossip. Ha! It's all the same." She picked up a copy of Guitar World and tried to hand it to Paige. "Now this is a magazine."

"No thanks," Paige said disgusted sticking her head in a copy of Gossip Girl. Alex pulled the book out of her hands violently.

"You crazy!?!" she hissed. "That stuff will rot your brain!" She shoved a copy of Speak her way/

"Ew, it smells like teenaged angst!" Paige complained pushing it away. She picked up a Summer Boys book. Alex persisted in their battle of the book and flaunted a copy of Atonement in her face. "You're impossible!" Paige groaned.

"You should know," Alex replied. She snatch the Summer Boys book from Paige's hands and stuck her tongue out at her.

"Very mature," Paige said glaring at her as she crossed her arms across her chest indignantly.

"Oh lighten up Paigey," Alex said still holding her book.

"Must you be like in public?" Paige asked looking around the store looking slightly embarrassed.

"Yes, it's a part of my charm," Alex said. Paige went to grab the book but Alex held it above her head.

"Hon, this isn't funny," Paige persisted reaching for it.

"Jump for it, Paigey, come on!" Alex demanded laughing. Paige grabbed her sunglasses off of the front of Alex's shirt. Those were Alex's fake Pradas. She had searched well over the entire city to find those. Paige held Alex's most prized possession in her hands with an evil smirk upon her face.

"You wouldn't," Alex hissed hardly daring to believe Alex had taken this to the next level. Paige began to run with the Pradas in her hands.

"I'll get you princess!" she heard Alex yell behind her.

Paige turned a corner in the teen fiction section and headed for the graphic novels. That was perfect! Alex hated those anime books. She took a breather. She leaned against the book shelf. Something caught her eyes as she tried to get her breathing to normal.

It was a reference book right in the middle of the graphic novels section. Paige's OCD kicked in and she pulled the book down off the shelf. She found Alex smirking at her from inside the gap between the two books surrounding the one she had picked from the shelf.

"There you are," she said. Paige let out a girly shriek and attempted to escape but Alex caught her from behind. They both laughed hysterically falling to the ground.

Paige dried her tears of laughter from her face and handed Alex her sunglasses.

"A worthy competitor," Paige said.

"Likewise," Alex agreed handing Paige the novel.

Alex glanced up to the clock on the wall.

"Aw shit," she exclaimed under her breath. "Sorry, Paige, but work is calling me."

"How did you manage to schedule a day of work on my day off?" Paige complained standing up next to Alex.

"Sorry," Alex said this time really meaning it. Alex meant to bend down and kiss Paige goodbye but Paige turned her head so that she couldn't. "Right," Alex said remembering they were in public. She turned around bitterly.

"What's wrong?" Paige asked.

"Nothing except I can't even kiss my girlfriend goodbye," Alex replied slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"Hon, it's not you…"

"It's me, I've heard the speech before Paige," Alex said turning to walk away. "Whatever, it doesn't matter."

"Yeah it kind of does Alex, I don't want you mad at me."

"Then why don't you start taking chances," Alex told her. "Bye."

Paige grabbed her and wheeled her around kissed her.

"That risky enough for you?" Paige asked. Alex was silent. "Well…"

Alex pulled her back into a more gently kiss.

"I'll see you after work," she told Paige leaving. The smiled that adored her face didn't leave till she fell asleep that night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter three**

"**Keep the blood in your head**

**Keep your feet on the ground"**

**-Quiet things that no one ever knows: Brand New**

"Why not!" Alex screamed at her mother.

"You're my daughter, that's why not," her mom replied.

"I don't see how I can't have a drink when I'm stressed out around here, but poor little Chady gets to pass out here every night drinking alcohol he bought with our money," Alex said angrily.

"Why don't you take it up with him then?" her mother asked.

"That's out of the question, he won't be conscience long enough for me to do so," she replied bitterly.

"Howdy," Chad said coming in the door. "Look who I found in an alley." Jay came out from behind Chad.

"Sup, Alex?" he said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Alex bit the inside of her cheek like she always did when she was irritated.

"Oh look, mom, he brought us a rat. Please, can we keep it? I promise to feed it everyday," Alex said sarcastically.

"Still the smart ass, huh?" Jay said.

"You should know," Alex told her glaring at his smug face.

"We're going to watch the game and um…drink," Chad informed her.

"Then I'm out of here," Alex said making her way towards the door.

"Not so fast," her mother said. "Alex tried to take some of your beer today after school."

"Thanks for being a snitch," Alex told her mom.

"Beer?" Chad asked advancing on her. "My beer? The beer I worked hard to buy?"

"I'm not sticking around much longer so you don't have to worry about me stealing anymore," Alex told him.

A knock on the door made the whole room jump. Alex answered the door to find Paige standing before her.

"Time to go to work," she told Alex holding up her car keys. She saw the room full of people. "Bad time?" she asked quietly. Alex looked at her mom, Jay, and Chad. She suddenly felt the urge to tell them.

"No, perfect timing actually," she told Paige letting her in.

"Who's your friend?" her mom asked.

"Mom, this is Paige, she's my girlfriend," Alex replied.

"You mean like going to the mall girlfriend?" Chad asked looking at Paige with interest.

"Yes," Paige interrupted before Alex could say anything else. "You know Alex, shop till you drop. Come on, let's go." She grabbed Alex's hand and took her out of the apartment.

"What the hell was that, I was ready to tell them," Alex said once they were in Paige's car.

"Too bad I'm not ready," Paige replied. "Look, I know I have been opening up slowly…"

"Slowly, you're PDA is moving at the speed of Hazel on the track," Alex said.

"I'm sorry, Alex, but I'm not ready for it yet," Paige replied.

"When will you be?" Alex asked pressing her head up against the head rest. "Every minute I don't spend with you in my arms is like torture for me. I just want to hold you and I can't because there are people around."

"That's deep for a girl who failed Shakespeare one-o-one in English," Paige said smiling.

"Look, this is depressing me too much; let's talk about it tomorrow at school."

"Fine," Alex agreed bitterly.

The next day, Paige was bored out of her mind in Snake's class.

_I know this stuff already_, she thought angrily_. God doesn't he ever shut up_!

She saw Alex passing the classroom. She had a pass in her hand and looked like she was headed for the bathroom.

Paige raised her hand.

"Yes Paige?" Snake asked.

"Sir, may I use the bathroom?" she asked politely.

"But, I'm in the middle of discussion, can't it wait?"

"Sir, I wouldn't ask you unless it couldn't wait," she said sucking up to him.

"Very well," he said taking the restroom pass out and handing it to her.

As Paige had predicted, Alex was in the restroom washing her hands.

"Hey," Alex said happily surprised by Paige's sudden presence. "What are you…?"

But something came over Paige and she slammed Alex up against the bathroom wall kissing her hungrily. Alex growled not liking the fact that Paige was in control. She seized the sides of Paige's face and turned the situation around so that she was in control. She slipped her tongue into Paige's mouth and the door to the restroom opened…

"Fuck," Alex said pushing Paige away realizing their little deal from the begging, but the damage had been done.

"Oh, um, hi Paige," Darcy said. "Alex."

"This should blow over nicely," Paige said biting her lip. Alex ran out of the bathroom as fast as she could.

"Wait!" Paige called after her. Alex turned around to face her, her face was flushed and she was upset.

"I'm so sorry Paige," she said. "I knew you wanted to keep this a secret and all, but…"

"Hon, listen it's okay," Paige took a deep breath as if what she was about to say was going to be harder than she thought. "Reputation isn't everything."

"But you rule this school, Paige, I know it's going to hard for you…"

"Alex, I've been thinking a lot about this whole thing. I don't really care anymore. Ever since yesterday when you almost came out to your mom and your…Chad, I wanted to come out too."

"Really?" Alex asked surprised.

"Honestly," Paige replied. Alex took her hand in her own.

"Then we have some showing off to do, don't we?"

"Pardon?" Paige asked.

"We're too hot chicks who are officially off the market," Alex explained smirking.

"Sounds alright to me," Paige told her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

The very worst part of you

Is me

-Lying away from you: Linkin Park

Alex stood outside the door to her apartment pacing. She had to tell her mother and she had to tell her today. If she kept it in much longer, it would just tear at her soul more and more with each passing day. She finally worked up the courage she needed and stepped inside.

"Hey," her mom greeted in a depressed manner.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked noting her mom's defeated look. She usually was happy to see her when she had been at school all day. Probably because she was proud she was actually attending and not skipping as usual.

"Chad's a little upset right now," her mom replied tiredly.

"Oh," Alex uttered nodding her head in an awkward gesture. She sat down across her mom. "Mom, you would seriously love me no matter what, right? You wouldn't kick me out of the house or anything for something, right?"

"Do you need money for something?" her mom asked instantly jumping to conclusions from Alex's days with Jay.

"No, mom, it's nothing to do with money," Alex replied in her exasperated mono-tone she liked to pull out when her mom just didn't get it.

"Then what did you do?"

"Mom, I didn't do anything. Well, not anything bad. Why are you jumping to conclusions all of sudden!?!" Alex asked raising her voice at her mother in her indignation.

"The last time you played the 'You'd love me no matter what card' you and Jay had been caught with pot. What did you two get caught with this time? Alcohol, fake IDs, prescriptions…."

"I'm not I trouble mom, I'm gay!" Alex blurted out. Her mom looked at her with an astounded look upon her face.

"Come again?"

"You heard me, mother, I'm a lesbian," Alex said in a more calm manner.

"Honey, I know you're going through a hard time what with mine and Chad's fighting and all but…"

"What, I'm just confused?" Alex suggested.

Are you absolutely sure you're a…a…"

"Mom, I don't think I have ever been surer about anything in my life," Alex replied. She looked at the clock; it was almost time for her to go to work.

"What's going on in here?" Chad asked entering the room. He looked drunk. Surprise, surprise.

"Nothing," Alex's mom quickly lied knowing how Chad might feel about this situation if presented to him.

"Did I hear someone talking about lesbians? Are the politicians trying to make that bill happen again or something?"

"No…" her mom tried to say but Alex was sick of hiding it, yes even from Chad.

"Yes, actually, you did hear something about lesbians. I am one," she declared confidently. Chad looked like he was about to explode as he looked Alex up and down with a drunken look in his eyes.

"There's a gay in my house?" he hissed.

"Yeah Chad, what are you going to do about it?" Alex asked glaring at him. Chad grabbed her wrists.

"I will not have some God damned lesbian living under my rood!" he shouted in her ear. Alex pulled away from him causing him to stumble backwards.

"Too bad this isn't your roof. You don't even pay rent for it," she replied. "Whatever, I don't care what all of you think. I'm happy and that's all that matters to me. I've got to go to work and make the money you end up taking from me." She slammed the door behind her as she left.

"Hon, that's too much butter," Paige told Alex as she made a man's order.

"Thanks," Alex replied sarcastically. She handed the man his popcorn a little too harshly.

"What crawled up and bit your ass today?" Paige asked slamming a hand down on the counter so that Alex would be forced to look up at her. She couldn't stand it when Alex ignored her like that. Alex finally stopped her frantic fake working and looked at Paige crossing her arms.

"I came out to my mom," she finally told Paige. Paige looked surprised she would feel this way.

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" Paige asked. "It was you who was so willing to come out to your family the other day."

"Not if your mom is dating Chad," Alex replied.

"He didn't take it to well, I'm guessing."

"Let's just say I'd much rather be working here or at school than sitting around my house right now."

Jay came over to the counter and leaned on it casually.

"And as if my day couldn't use anymore cloud cover," Alex said trying to remain clam as he looked at her.

"Funny, funny," Jay said sarcastically. "Not only is Degrassi buzzing about you two's little bathroom incident, but I found out from my man Chad first hand that you are a lesbian."

"What do you want?" Paige asked fed up with his games.

"I was wondering if I could get in on the action…between the action I really should say," Jay said tracing an invisible shape on the candy counter. Alex snapped. She couldn't put up with everyone's crap…not today at least.

"Unless you're going to order something, I suggest you get lost!" she said.

"Fine, I'll take you and your skank to go please," he replied innocently. Alex grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

"If you ever call her that again…" she hissed.

"Alex!" someone snapped behind her. She turned to see her manager tapping her toe at her.

"Shit," Alex muttered releasing Jay.


	6. Chapter 6

"**I'm a lot like you**

**So please**

**Hello**

**I'm here**

**I'm waiting"**

**-el Sorcho: Weezer**

**Chapter 6**

Paige paced the locker room to the movie theater anxiously. Alex had been in the manager's office for almost an hour now. It drove her crazy not knowing what exactly was going on in there.

Alex finally stepped into the locker room looking a little morbid. She wasn't wearing a nametag.

"She took it," she simply told Paige. "So now, I get to clean out my locker and never come back."

"This sucks," Paige said.

"I know, now how am I supposed to find something to do that keeps me out of trouble? God, I am getting so loaded tonight," she muttered as an after thought. She began to pull mounds of things out of her locker and into her gym bag.

"I know you're kind of pissed right now and it might not be the best time to tell you but I have some good news," Paige told her. A large white envelope was in her hands, which were shaking.

"Is that what I think it is?" Alex asked getting slightly excited.

"I got in!" Paige exclaimed.

"Oh my God! Baby, that's awesome!" Alex practically yelled pulling Paige into a smile on smile kiss.

"You're pretty excited," Paige commented slightly confused. She was expecting Alex's reaction to be quite like this.

"My baby just got into the college of her choice," Alex explained as if stating the obvious.

"But I thought you would be upset because I wouldn't be here to spend time with you," Paige said.

"You can come home every other weekend, can't you?" Alex said. Paige's face suddenly lit up.

"Or you could still get it. Sure it wouldn't be till second semester, but come on, we'd be together," Paige suggested.

"Paige, I don't know. College really isn't my thing right now. I've been fired from a job I managed to hold down for a year. I really want to find one now that'll have shit to show for it. And don't you think it's too late for me? My grades weren't exactly top notch," Alex said.

"It's never too late, Hon," Paige reassured her. Alex bit the inside of her cheek to hold back the words she was about to throw back at Paige for being in control of the situation. "Just think about it." Alex nodded just to get Paige off of the subject.

"Well, I have to get home so someone can blow a fuse," Alex announced slinging her duffle bag over her shoulder.

"Meet me at the Dot at six?" Paige asked. Alex strode over and kissed Paige swiftly.

"Sure," she said walking away.

Alex sat at her normal seat at the Dot. Her leg was shaking as it always did when she was uncomfortable or filled with caffeine. Paige was so supposed to be there an hour ago.

"Hey sexy," Jay said sitting across from her.

"If you don't get out of my sight, this extremely hot coffee will either be in your face or your lap," Alex hissed at him. Jay let out a sigh of pain at the prospect of something along those lines.

"I didn't come here to fight Lexi," he told her. He took a white napkin from the table and waved it in the air. "I call a truce." Alex slumped back in her seat crossing her arms as she looked at him sternly.

"Go on then before I change my mind," she insisted.

"I'm sorry for this afternoon. I was a complete ass and I know I lost you your job," he explained.

"Are you just saying that because you know I can kick your ass or do you truly mean that you're sorry?" Alex asked.

"A little bit of both," Jay replied sticking out a hand. "Friends?" Alex looked him over. She finally smiled at took hold of his hand shaking it.

"Friends," she agreed. She became more comfortable. "Got to thank you a little considering I hated that job. I was thinking of quitting anyway. Because of you I went out in style."

"That's what I am here for," Jay told her. He spotted her notebook lying on the table and hastily grabbed it.

"Hey!" she shouted reaching for it.

"This your diary or something?" he asked amused.

"No, it's just a notebook," she replied. Jay opened it to find a poem.

Apartment

_Come back to that empty room_

_Come home, "So I'll see you soon?"_

_Come back for me_

_To those blank sheets of paper_

_Let your hand write about_

_Our friendship inside and out_

_And write about the laughter_

_That used to be us_

Jay looked up surprised.

"You wrote this?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied modestly.

"This is good. Seriously. I'm not just trying to get brownie points with you or anything," he told her. The door to the Dot opened and Paige came walking in.

"Hey, Hon," she said.

"See you around," Jay told Alex. She smiled at him as he walked away.

"What was that all about?" Paige asked.

"Never mind that. You're late," Alex said sternly.

"I know," Paige replied. "But it's not like you had anything better to do now that you're unemployed."

Alex bit her cheek.

"Hon, I know you're upset with me right now. But you don't need to get hostile over it," Paige said picking up Alex's cup of coffee and taking a sip. She made a bitter face. "Would you like some coffee with your cream? Do you know how much fat is in that?"

"Paige," Alex snapped. "I know you want me to tag along with you at University, but I don't think that's what I want to do right now." Paige looked at her surprised.

"So you don't want to go to college?"

"Yes…no…maybe…. I have no clue. I seriously am at a loss to what is going to happen with me right now." Paige looked slightly frustrated.

"I just want what's best for you. Is that so bad?" she asked taking Alex's hand.

"What is what's best for me is to wait things out?"

"Hon, not being prepared only screws you over."

"I've been trying to prepare myself for things these passed few years and look at the bang up job it's already done."

"Sarcasm won't help you right now either." Paige's cell phone went off. "I've got to go. Dylan heard I got in and wants to celebrate tonight." Alex looked at her hardly daring to believe what she was hearing.

"So you came all the way out here to tell me what I need to do about my future?" Alex picked up her notebook and huffily exited before Paige could stop her.

"You didn't pay!" she heard Paige call behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

"**I don't think that you know what you'll be missing"**

**-Your Own Disaster: Taking Back Sunday**

**Chapter 7**

Splinters were inserting themselves into Alex's skin as she toppled over the table. She gasped in pain, but didn't scream. If she screamed it meant he had control over her and that was the last thing she was going to give him.

"Fired!" Chad was screaming. "Gay and fired! You're on a God damned roll aren't you Lexi!"

She simply let herself remain motionless on the ground like an animal out waiting the predator.

She heard his footsteps leave the area and she got up. She wasn't going take this shit all night. She grabbed her duffle and headed out.

Paige heard a knock on the door and opened it to find a bruised and broken Alex before her.

"Alex, what's going…" but Alex pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Can I please stay here tonight?" she asked in Paige's ear as she held her tight. "Don't make me go back there tonight."

"Sure," Paige told her a little awkwardly. She never did too well when people cried. It wasn't her forte.

"Thanks," Alex said. Paige set up a place for Alex next to her in her bed. Alex crawled into the bed feeling sore. "I'm sorry to intrude like this."

She felt Paige's arms wrapped around her.

"You could never intrude," Paige said. Alex turned to see her smiling face. She kissed her and shifted her weight so that she was on top of her. "My parents are in the next room," Paige reminded her. Alex fell back over onto her back.

"That's a turn off," she said. Paige laughed.

Alex rolled over and saw Paige sleeping peacefully beside her. She felt safe around her and was glad she had voted to stay the night at her house as opposed to her own. It was amazing how much joy she put into Alex's life. But Alex's heart was filled with worry. How long would it last? She really cared about Paige, but wasn't sure she could put up with the control much longer.

What happened to the days when she and Paige would go out and be spontaneous? What happened to that flame that had ignited that night in the theater? When would be the next time they smoked pot or had a cream fight? Maybe never if Paige's attitude didn't change.

Alex pushed it to the back of her mind as she rolled back over and went to sleep.

The next morning Alex came walking down Paige's front staircase to see her already up and looking cheerful.

"Morning," Paige greeted her happily.

"Don't remind me," Alex groaned.

"So, I was thinking we go out today and look at the different scholarship programs they have that you could apply for. You know, to get into University," Paige suggested.

"Can't I at least sit down and have something to eat before planning my future?" Alex asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, um…sure." Alex pulled a box of Cheerios towards her and poured a bowl full.

"Pass me that section of the newspaper that's got all those ad thingys for job," Alex said her mouth half full with cereal. Paige looked confused but handed the paper to Alex. "Thanks, babe."

"Um, so I was hoping we could get into Degrassi today and talk to whichever guidance counselor is there to ask them about what you should do," Paige said. "I know it's the weekend and all, but there's bound to be someone there that can help us."

"Uh-huh," Alex replied fixated on the ads in front of her face.

"And then maybe we could go to the library and research some stuff for getting you a college loan."

"Uh-huh."

"And maybe there is something there that can help you decided how you're going to get into Banting."

"Uh-huh."

"God Alex, would you just listen to me! Put the God damned paper down!" Paige snapped. Alex's head popped up.

"Excuse me?" se asked.

"I'm trying to help you out here."

"Paige, I got fired, I need to focus on finding a job so I don't have to go back to that hell hole called my home."

"And I'm offering you a way out if you would just listen to me."

"What makes you think I want to go to Banting?"

"Hon, everyone wants to go to Banting."

"No,** you** want me to go to Banting. I just wanna focus on getting out of my apartment. That means I need money, therefore I need a job." Paige stood to her feet.

"I'm trying to help you."

"Yeah, by controlling my life."

"Maybe if I did, you would be better off."

"The maybe I don't want you in it anymore." It had slipped from Alex's mouth before she could catch it or wrap her mind around it so that it didn't sound so harsh. But she knew it was true.

"What did you say?" Paige asked her voice cracking slightly.

"I'm sorry Paige. But I can't have someone standing over my shoulder all the time making up my mind for me. I would like to go to college. But now isn't the time and I don't think it's the right time for this either." Alex picked up her duffle bag. "I've got to go."

She left Paige's house and turned a street corner before she stopped to cry.


End file.
